Reflections

There are many things that I realized about myself this Christmas. The first being that I can do this (placement and trip in general), but not without the support of my dear family and friends. They have given me enough strength to get though the last 5 months and I hope they can help me get me through the next 4 months (the next 3 being the hardest of them all). I have also had many small achievements like realizing I can get anywhere in this country on my own because I know how things work (like catching buses and cabs, to booking tours and making friends) and my Spanish is finally good enough. Granted though, it is still not spectacular and still needs a lot of work.

The second being that culture shock is all relative and about perspective. I did know this before, but I realized it to a more extreme extent when thinking about my travels to the Amazon and how I will be living. I will be living in the standard of living that most of the world lives in, and eating the main staple of food that most people eat, rice. I realized that Quito is extremely Western and wondered how I had culture shock in the first place, given that it is so close to the pace and atmosphere of North America. But this is where the relativity came in. I came on this trip thinking that the worst would be over by the time Thanksgiving hit, not thinking about my placement. I thought my placement would be a breeze and I would be ready for it when it came. I was wrong. I am not ready for the next 3 months and that realization, when it came in December, shocked me. I will be facing culture shock again in the coming month and a half, and it will be worse than last time. I will want to abandon everything and come home to Canada, or at least Quito, but I know that will not be possible. For one the culture shock going back to those places after living in my community will be bad, especially Canada. I have also been warned that my culture shock when I get home to Canada will be much worse than anything I have experienced so far. So... I must remind myself, the only way is forward. Forward through the next 3 months of living in the Amazon and forward with what I have been preparing myself for, really, for as long as I can remember. This placement is the closest thing to job preparation that I am going to get, and depending on how I reach the end will determine if I am cut out for this line of work... and I am determined to make it successful.